whattingawhat: (Tired)
Buffy Summers ([personal profile] whattingawhat) wrote2008-04-21 08:47 pm

And all I can promise [Is to say what I'm feeling]

[Locked from Danny and Faith]

To take the life, and very breath, of another human being is to presume yourself to be God, if only for a moment. Have you ever played God, and what gave you the right to presume such power?


Once. Almost. They say almost only counts in shoes and hand grenades…or something like that. It’s not true because that almost haunts me. There are nights that I can feel the way that dagger slid in without any resistance at all and I remember how her blood blossomed red. All I could think about when she fell was that Angel was dead. I didn’t hit regret until later when Faith and I were both in the hospital. I know that’s not real ‘hero pc’ or whatever but it’s the truth. I should make up some big story that the moment that dagger sliced into her, regret overtook me. It didn’t. In fact, I was already making plans on how to haul her body back to Angel’s. How to keep as much blood inside of her as possible and I was cursing myself for a gut wound because gut wounds bleed.

Faith is alive because her survival instincts kicked in. Angel is alive because mine didn’t. And I’m alive because soul, beast and man were all in love with me. So you see, the only part I had in it was the almost.

Not much of a hero, am I?

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