"Friend of mine got me this mini desktop swearing punching bag for Christmas. When you hit the bag, it swears at you, which is the part I don't get. Why the fuck would anyone want to be verbally abused for?" He dropped his cigarette to the ground and stepped on it. "Worse Christmas present ever received though? Coasters from IKEA." He shook his head. "Not that they weren't useful, but seriously. Coasters?"