Cookie Dough, more than it's cracked up to be

[whattingawhat]

Half Baked: (Chocolate Fudge Brownies meets Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough) A Crazy Concoction of Chocolate & Vanilla Ice Cream mixed with Fudge Brownies & Gobs of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

OK, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat— or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then...that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.

Okay I’ve come to realize a couple of things since that infamous speech. First of all that Andrew cannot be trusted and he’s a sneaky little rat. Second of all, there is nothing wrong with being cookie dough. So I’m half baked. I’m cookie dough and maybe that’s all I’m ever gonna be. Maybe some people aren’t meant to be finished cookies. They’ve got gooey centers and chewy outsides and they’re just cookie dough. And maybe I’m one of those people. Normally I wouldn’t say I was gooey on the inside, metaphorically I mean. Literally…I’m very gooey but then so is everyone human. Great now I’m thinking of blood cookies.

The point is not gooeyness or crispy outsides or chocolate chip. The point is I’m not finished. Maybe I’m never going to be finished. Maybe I’ll spend the rest of my life evolving into something else. I’ll always have to deal with the changing and the moodiness and that feeling that I’m not done yet. Maybe it’s part of being a slayer or maybe, just maybe it’s something that everyone goes through and no one ever tells you about. We just walk around thinking everyone is finished except us. It’s a big conspiracy. A cookie dough conspiracy and there’s some evil mastermind orchestrating it all and making certain we’re all off kilter thinking there’s something wrong with us when really there’s something wrong with the whole human race. And maybe it’s not even something wrong with us. Possibly that’s the way PB&J made us because he/she/it/them get their kicks off on watching this whole flawed, screwed up soap opera the way Spike get his kicks watching Passions.

Besides, I don’t have to be cookies. Some people like to eat cookie dough. Shut up, Dawn. I swear to God I’ll hang you by your ankles off the balcony until all the blood rushes to your head and you forget your name.

Comments

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

All I can say is 'Amen, woman.'

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

It was a ridiculous speech and proof you should not contemplate your future on no sleep, too much coffee and an apocalypse brewing, BUT now that I think about it, it still holds true. Even if it is ridiculous.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

Really? I don't find it ridiculous at all! Course, it kinda sounds like something I'd actually say under completely normal circumstances.

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Yeah well...I was saying it to Angel if that makes it any more ridiculous. He quotes poetry at me and actual inspiring speeches and I respond with cookie dough.

This is why you and I get along so awesomely.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

...God. I can so related to that. So. Relate.

Because we both suffer from 'Mouth Not Always Connected To Brain' syndrome?

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

I have to say, at least Danny talks like a normal person. I don't feel like a giant bumbling, non-English speaking idiot around him.

Exactly! It bonds us.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

That's good! Normal person talk is good. I have a 'likes to use big words' fella, but I can follow him just fine. I just don't use them as much myself. He never makes me feel stupid for it, though.

It really does! We get each other. ;D