Buffy Summers (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whattingawhat) wrote2008-07-05 08:07 pm
whattingawhat) wrote2008-07-05 08:07 pm
Entry tags:
And I think there's pieces of me you've never seen
[All the world just stopped now (Tori Amos – ‘Tear in Your Hand’)]
Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.
“Xander…seriously,” Buffy mumbles as she rolls over. It only takes a half a second for her to realize her phone is playing YMCA, which means its Xander. And as soon as she realizes that, she’s fully awake because it’s the middle of the night and Xander is calling. She grabs the phone off of the night stand, hits the silent button and slips out of bed. She doesn’t answer until she’s in the bathroom with the door closed. She doesn’t turn the light on, just slides down the door to sit on the cold tile floor.
“Hey.”
For a minute there is nothing and then she hears the strangled gasps that precede Xander’s words.
“They’re gone. It’s gone.”
Panic flutters inside of her, gaining ground until it’s a full blown fleet of vultures wrecking havoc inside her stomach. “Who? Xander. Who’s gone?”
“The castle. Everyone in it. It’s gone.”
With those words, all those vultures go belly up and drop to the bottom of her stomach like iron. Her mouth is dry and her breath is caught somewhere underneath the weight in her stomach. She bolts for the toilet, phone hitting the floor with a clatter. The sounds of her retching fill the room as she empties her stomach. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, flushes and picks up the phone.
“Giles,” she manages to gasp. Her mouth tastes sour and dry.
“London,” Xander answers in a mirrored gasp. Buffy nods even though he can’t see it because her words are still crushed. They come out in one long rush of breath and immediately guilt adds to the weight because she feels relief that Giles isn’t there. There is a struggle between them that is so palpable she can almost see it. They are fighting to see who can speak first.
“Bomb. That’s…there’s just rubble and-they’re all-“ Xander’s words come haltingly, stutter stepping through his breathlessness. He anticipates her questions, answering them before she can ask them. “I was in the woods.” She hears him choke up and his words come to an end.
Buffy rakes a hand back through her hair. Her breath is coming too fast now and she tries to slow it down. She can feel her heart pounding too fast in her chest and it’s all rising up in her throat. She’s got to take control of this and be the person Xander needs her to be. “Go to London, Xander. Stay with Giles. We’ll find out who did this and I will take care of them. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Maybe…maybe I’ll come there. I don’t know. Does Will-“
“Not yet. I called Giles…and you.”
Buffy nods. “Kay. I’ll talk to her. She’s probably going to want to look- Oh God…” She knew Willow was Idaho of all places, talking to a slayer there. “Kennedy?”
Xander’s silence gives her all the answer she needs. “Right…Will…”
“I’ll call her. She should hear it from me,” Xander says and he sounds surprisingly calm. She hears him take a deep breath and then exhale it loudly against the phone. “What if she goes all scary veiny Will again?”
“You’ll fix her, Xan.”
“Because that’s the work of a carpenter.”
“Well…you know…with the clean up,” Buffy responds. Her voice breaks and she bites down on her bottom lip. “Xan…I’m gonna-but I’ll talk to you soon and we’ll-“
“Yeah…you k now, one of these days I’m gonna call with happy news.”
“Promises, promises.” Buffy’s voice sounds hollow, like something scraped from the bottom of a very deep well.
“Anyway…I’ll let you…”
“Uh huh,” Buffy nods. She can feel the pressure in her chest building up faster and faster, piling up so thick and heavy that it’s choking her. “Xan…find me someone’s ass to kick.” She hangs up abruptly because it all spills over, crushing her to the floor beneath its weight. The tile is cold and hard. The sound makes her start, bumping her head against the bathtub. When she hears it again she realizes it’s her sobs echoing off the walls.
Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.
“Xander…seriously,” Buffy mumbles as she rolls over. It only takes a half a second for her to realize her phone is playing YMCA, which means its Xander. And as soon as she realizes that, she’s fully awake because it’s the middle of the night and Xander is calling. She grabs the phone off of the night stand, hits the silent button and slips out of bed. She doesn’t answer until she’s in the bathroom with the door closed. She doesn’t turn the light on, just slides down the door to sit on the cold tile floor.
“Hey.”
For a minute there is nothing and then she hears the strangled gasps that precede Xander’s words.
“They’re gone. It’s gone.”
Panic flutters inside of her, gaining ground until it’s a full blown fleet of vultures wrecking havoc inside her stomach. “Who? Xander. Who’s gone?”
“The castle. Everyone in it. It’s gone.”
With those words, all those vultures go belly up and drop to the bottom of her stomach like iron. Her mouth is dry and her breath is caught somewhere underneath the weight in her stomach. She bolts for the toilet, phone hitting the floor with a clatter. The sounds of her retching fill the room as she empties her stomach. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, flushes and picks up the phone.
“Giles,” she manages to gasp. Her mouth tastes sour and dry.
“London,” Xander answers in a mirrored gasp. Buffy nods even though he can’t see it because her words are still crushed. They come out in one long rush of breath and immediately guilt adds to the weight because she feels relief that Giles isn’t there. There is a struggle between them that is so palpable she can almost see it. They are fighting to see who can speak first.
“Bomb. That’s…there’s just rubble and-they’re all-“ Xander’s words come haltingly, stutter stepping through his breathlessness. He anticipates her questions, answering them before she can ask them. “I was in the woods.” She hears him choke up and his words come to an end.
Buffy rakes a hand back through her hair. Her breath is coming too fast now and she tries to slow it down. She can feel her heart pounding too fast in her chest and it’s all rising up in her throat. She’s got to take control of this and be the person Xander needs her to be. “Go to London, Xander. Stay with Giles. We’ll find out who did this and I will take care of them. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Maybe…maybe I’ll come there. I don’t know. Does Will-“
“Not yet. I called Giles…and you.”
Buffy nods. “Kay. I’ll talk to her. She’s probably going to want to look- Oh God…” She knew Willow was Idaho of all places, talking to a slayer there. “Kennedy?”
Xander’s silence gives her all the answer she needs. “Right…Will…”
“I’ll call her. She should hear it from me,” Xander says and he sounds surprisingly calm. She hears him take a deep breath and then exhale it loudly against the phone. “What if she goes all scary veiny Will again?”
“You’ll fix her, Xan.”
“Because that’s the work of a carpenter.”
“Well…you know…with the clean up,” Buffy responds. Her voice breaks and she bites down on her bottom lip. “Xan…I’m gonna-but I’ll talk to you soon and we’ll-“
“Yeah…you k now, one of these days I’m gonna call with happy news.”
“Promises, promises.” Buffy’s voice sounds hollow, like something scraped from the bottom of a very deep well.
“Anyway…I’ll let you…”
“Uh huh,” Buffy nods. She can feel the pressure in her chest building up faster and faster, piling up so thick and heavy that it’s choking her. “Xan…find me someone’s ass to kick.” She hangs up abruptly because it all spills over, crushing her to the floor beneath its weight. The tile is cold and hard. The sound makes her start, bumping her head against the bathtub. When she hears it again she realizes it’s her sobs echoing off the walls.
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"This is my fault. They're not supposed to exist. There's supposed to be one girl. Me and the entire world is trying to set it back that way," she half whispered, the concept really only half formed. She let out a little breath that sounded jagged and tired. Her head was resting on his shoulder and tears were still trickling down her cheeks. "I've gotta help Giles and call...all their mom's."
Her hand tightened in Danny's shirt. "And when I find out who did this I'm going to kick their ass. And it won't make anything better or anyone better but at least it'll make sure he doesn't get any more of my girls."
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He crawled into bed with her, holding her close as Rocky jumped up and curled up at their feet.