Buffy Summers (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whattingawhat) wrote2008-08-06 06:45 pm
whattingawhat) wrote2008-08-06 06:45 pm
Entry tags:
I can see so clearly when your smoke gets in my eyes.
[Leadership]
She’s sitting out on the balcony, one knee drawn to her chest. Her toes are digging into the concrete and it’s hot, retaining the heat from the day before. Her chin rests on top of her knee and she’s listening to the sound of her own breathing, measuring it out a little at a time. She tries to slow her heartbeat not because it’s rapid but because it gives her something to focus on. The world is falling apart, or at least New York City. There’s a heat wave, earthquakes and now a rain of blood. She can still smell the metallic in the air and it makes her nose wrinkle.
She can feel him, the weight of his presence standing in the door way but she keeps her eyes closed, heartbeat slowing and breathing measured. She waits for him to come to her because she’s never certain how far to push. After several minutes he settles behind her, one arm wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her back against his body. Sweat clings to him just as it clings to her skin and she exhales, her lips brushing his arm. She can taste salt on her lips.
“Sunshine, you oughta eat somethin’ tonight.”
Buffy shakes her head, pushing the words past her lips. “Not tonight. Later. I promise.”
Later after the battle was over. Later after everyone was alright. Later after casualties had been cataloged. Later when she could think and breathe and the weight of leadership didn’t crush her. Later could be days away and she knows that but Danny doesn’t. Not yet.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. Although the reason why she’s apologizing is more than a little unclear.
“Got nothin’ to apologize for, Summers.” He presses a kiss to the back of Buffy’s neck, exposed by her hair knotted up off her skin.
She tilts her head slightly and leans back against him. Her shoulders are stooped just a bit. She breathes out against his arm again and presses a kiss there. She scrapes her teeth against his skin, not a bite or a nip, just her teeth against his skin. She sits that way for a moment without any pressure on his arm but she can taste the sweat on his skin and the heat of it and somehow it comforts her. She raises her head a moment and turns it so that her cheek is lying on his arm.
“Tomorrow they’re all going to be looking at me like I’m some sort of infallible hero. They need me to be that girl and I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I can watch any more of my girls die and I don’t know if I can lead them into a battle like the one we’re facing.”
“I don’t know anything about what you’re gonna be against tomorrow or whenever, but I do know you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Sunshine. Physical strength and the fact that you can kick my ass. That aside, you can still do anything you want to do. Can do everything you need to do and more. You’re gonna be whatever it is you need to be when the time’s here and then you’ll come home to me and you can be whatever ever you wanna be here too. You got that? I love you, Summers.”
She’s sitting out on the balcony, one knee drawn to her chest. Her toes are digging into the concrete and it’s hot, retaining the heat from the day before. Her chin rests on top of her knee and she’s listening to the sound of her own breathing, measuring it out a little at a time. She tries to slow her heartbeat not because it’s rapid but because it gives her something to focus on. The world is falling apart, or at least New York City. There’s a heat wave, earthquakes and now a rain of blood. She can still smell the metallic in the air and it makes her nose wrinkle.
She can feel him, the weight of his presence standing in the door way but she keeps her eyes closed, heartbeat slowing and breathing measured. She waits for him to come to her because she’s never certain how far to push. After several minutes he settles behind her, one arm wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her back against his body. Sweat clings to him just as it clings to her skin and she exhales, her lips brushing his arm. She can taste salt on her lips.
“Sunshine, you oughta eat somethin’ tonight.”
Buffy shakes her head, pushing the words past her lips. “Not tonight. Later. I promise.”
Later after the battle was over. Later after everyone was alright. Later after casualties had been cataloged. Later when she could think and breathe and the weight of leadership didn’t crush her. Later could be days away and she knows that but Danny doesn’t. Not yet.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. Although the reason why she’s apologizing is more than a little unclear.
“Got nothin’ to apologize for, Summers.” He presses a kiss to the back of Buffy’s neck, exposed by her hair knotted up off her skin.
She tilts her head slightly and leans back against him. Her shoulders are stooped just a bit. She breathes out against his arm again and presses a kiss there. She scrapes her teeth against his skin, not a bite or a nip, just her teeth against his skin. She sits that way for a moment without any pressure on his arm but she can taste the sweat on his skin and the heat of it and somehow it comforts her. She raises her head a moment and turns it so that her cheek is lying on his arm.
“Tomorrow they’re all going to be looking at me like I’m some sort of infallible hero. They need me to be that girl and I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I can watch any more of my girls die and I don’t know if I can lead them into a battle like the one we’re facing.”
“I don’t know anything about what you’re gonna be against tomorrow or whenever, but I do know you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Sunshine. Physical strength and the fact that you can kick my ass. That aside, you can still do anything you want to do. Can do everything you need to do and more. You’re gonna be whatever it is you need to be when the time’s here and then you’ll come home to me and you can be whatever ever you wanna be here too. You got that? I love you, Summers.”