Damsel in Distress, My Ass

[Apocalypse]

OOC: Overview of Apocalypse massively co-written by whattingawhat, still_brooding, thatwas_nifty, diminished9th, youmadea_bear, howbig_canitbe, sonata_adagio, i_willpout, slayer_pet, [Unknown site tag], and jnana_chaksu. More, smaller and individual pieces will follow.

( Read more... )

[Leadership]

She’s sitting out on the balcony, one knee drawn to her chest. Her toes are digging into the concrete and it’s hot, retaining the heat from the day before. Her chin rests on top of her knee and she’s listening to the sound of her own breathing, measuring it out a little at a time. She tries to slow her heartbeat not because it’s rapid but because it gives her something to focus on. The world is falling apart, or at least New York City. There’s a heat wave, earthquakes and now a rain of blood. She can still smell the metallic in the air and it makes her nose wrinkle.

She can feel him, the weight of his presence standing in the door way but she keeps her eyes closed, heartbeat slowing and breathing measured. She waits for him to come to her because she’s never certain how far to push. After several minutes he settles behind her, one arm wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her back against his body. Sweat clings to him just as it clings to her skin and she exhales, her lips brushing his arm. She can taste salt on her lips.

“Sunshine, you oughta eat somethin’ tonight.”

Buffy shakes her head, pushing the words past her lips. “Not tonight. Later. I promise.”

Later after the battle was over. Later after everyone was alright. Later after casualties had been cataloged. Later when she could think and breathe and the weight of leadership didn’t crush her. Later could be days away and she knows that but Danny doesn’t. Not yet.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. Although the reason why she’s apologizing is more than a little unclear.

“Got nothin’ to apologize for, Summers.” He presses a kiss to the back of Buffy’s neck, exposed by her hair knotted up off her skin.

She tilts her head slightly and leans back against him. Her shoulders are stooped just a bit. She breathes out against his arm again and presses a kiss there. She scrapes her teeth against his skin, not a bite or a nip, just her teeth against his skin. She sits that way for a moment without any pressure on his arm but she can taste the sweat on his skin and the heat of it and somehow it comforts her. She raises her head a moment and turns it so that her cheek is lying on his arm.

“Tomorrow they’re all going to be looking at me like I’m some sort of infallible hero. They need me to be that girl and I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I can watch any more of my girls die and I don’t know if I can lead them into a battle like the one we’re facing.”

“I don’t know anything about what you’re gonna be against tomorrow or whenever, but I do know you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Sunshine. Physical strength and the fact that you can kick my ass. That aside, you can still do anything you want to do. Can do everything you need to do and more. You’re gonna be whatever it is you need to be when the time’s here and then you’ll come home to me and you can be whatever ever you wanna be here too. You got that? I love you, Summers.”

I don't believe in panic
I don't believe in fear
I don't believe in prophecies
so don't waste any tears

Sort of a part 2 to this

Her flowers are dead and she’s biting back tears. Her mouth tastes bitter, sour and dry. The sun overhead is blistering. Renee’s body is still lying across the corner of the garden but no one is moving her.

“Don’t touch the body. Don’t disturb the crime scene.”

Giles is absorbed in the books he has scattered across the surface of the table and Danny is setting up crime scene tape.

“You can’t do anything about this one, Boyfriend. Vampire and he’s dust now.”

Danny doesn’t even look up. He just keeps stringing crime scene tape out. Dawn steps across the tape and Danny steers her out of the way back over to where Spike is waiting out in the glaring sun.

“We have to do something, Giles. My garden is dead.”

“There’s nothing to be done, Buffy. It’s the natural order of things. We upset the balance. This is merely the world’s way of setting that balance back.” Giles doesn’t look up from his books as he says this and Buffy slams her hands down on the table in front of him. He doesn’t flinch, merely continues with his research.

“There has to be something we can do!” she screams at the top of her voice.

Angel steps out from the shadows. He has his hands shoved in his pockets and he’s looking at her from beneath his lashes. “One girl in every generation.”

“That’s the way it used to be,” Buffy reminds him.

“No, Buffy. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. The world isn’t going to stop until that’s the way it is.”

“I don’t believe that. I don’t believe in stupid, old, men who decided that girls should die so they could sleep safe in their beds!”

“Safe as houses,” Angel says quietly.

“What does that even mean? Like houses are safe. They fall and they crumble. They let in demons and vampires and people die of brain tumors in houses!” She’s walking toward him now and she realizes he’s so blindingly pale she can scarcely look at him.

Angel shrugs, both shoulders rising in a movement that only he could make graceful. “You can’t save them all, Buffy. You’ll damn the world.”

“And what if I’m tired of saving the world? What if I think the world has damned itself and it deserves to go to Hell while a bunch of little girls deserve to live?” She’s screaming at him and there are tears tracking down her cheeks.

He shakes his head, reaches out to smooth the tears off her skin. “Buffy, you’re the hero in this story. You’re always going to pick the world because that’s who you are. You’re incapable of picking anything or anyone else.”

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” she screams as her hands go over her ears.

The sky starts to darken and out of the corner of her eye she can see it coming. There isn’t time to think, there isn’t time to make a choice. She can only react with her heart and her soul. It’s coming; it’s closer; it’s creeping toward them and she runs. She runs toward them, hitting Danny full force in the shoulder. His weight hits Dawn, like dominos falling, falling, forever falling but they’re out of the way. They’re in the sun and she’s standing between the garden and the darkness.

Right where she belongs