Just Click Your Heels Together Three Times [RP for stillacrime]

[whattingawhat]

Buffy had gotten home early afternoon. The airport had gone as smoothly as airports ever go, she'd found a cab and nearly fallen asleep on the ride back to her apartment. It was empty because Danny was at work but it gave her time to unpack, take a long shower, a nap curled up on the couch and order pizza. She still had a pretty nasty looking bruise on her cheekbone, a long scratch on her collarbone (it had been a gash twenty four hours ago) and her right side was a lovely shade of green and yellow. She was kind of hoping that would heal a little more before Danny saw it so that maybe it could be over looked. She had on a sweatshirt of his that swallowed her but that was it and she'd braided her wet hair into pigtails. There were purple black smudges under her eyes from too little sleep and too many nightmares. Even her nap on the couch had been riddled with them. She was happy to be home and her cheeriness wasn't precisely forced as long as she didn't think about the battle and the things she'd done. It was as close to killing humans as she'd ever come, sans the whole Faith incident. Right now, she was curled on the couch, Mr. Gordo clutched to her chest, her knees sandwiching him there tightly. She had a blanket wrapped around her, Danny's pillow behind her and all in all, it looked like she was a little girl trying to hide or someone desperately trying to feel safe. There was a half finished bowl of Chicken and Stars soup on the chest (weapons) in front of the couch. They'd broken the coffee table before she'd left. Buffy had the television turned onto The Cosby Show and she was waiting for Danny to get home.

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[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

Danny got home as soon as he could. The lab work had taken a little longer to process than he had thought it would... or maybe he just really wanted to get home. But finally, he walked into the apartment and locked the door. A small grin spread over his lips as she tossed his keys to the coffee table and moved to the couch. He settled down beside Buffy, barely taking her in before he pulled her to his arms and buried his nose in her hair. "Hey, Summers." He whispered, inhaling a breath of her hair.

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Buffy just melted into Danny when he pulled her close and buried his nose in her hair. She closed her eyes, one hand fisting his tee shirt as she took a deep breath of him. She was practically sitting in his lap and she shifted until she had her legs between his legs, her bare feet underneath his thigh."Hey, Messer. It's good to see you," she told him quietly. "Your clothes never smell this good on me."

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"We'll try to bottle each other up for both of us." Danny answered quietly. He smoothed his hand over her braids and down her back to the small, his spot. "I missed you like crazy, you know that?"

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

"I'm glad 'cause I missed you like crazy too," Buffy told him. She pressed back into his hand at the small of her back. "And I'd hate to be one sided about something like that."

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"So far from one sided it's crazy." Danny assured her, tightening his hold on her. "Tell me about your class."

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Buffy shrugged at his question. The tightened hold actually made her ribs ache a little but she wasn't about to ask him to ease up or show any sign of pain. She wanted to be held this tight.

"It was alright. I got stupid and cocky and got tagged a few times. I'm used to being the best in the room so I got my ego taken down a peg or two."

She wanted so bad to tell him how horrible it was, how her scythe sliced through people and how when they were dead they looked so...fragile and broken and human. She wanted to tell him about the little kids and the teenage girls and how she knew there were mothers somewhere missing their children or husbands missing wives or children missing parents and now they'd never, ever be reunited and she knew it wasn't her fault they'd been taken but that didn't make it any easier to kill them. She wanted to tell him how she felt dirty, so dirty the shower would never, ever get her clean. She wanted to beg him to tell her she wasn't like the people he chased and most of all she wanted him to forgive her and love her in spite of all the things she'd done in the name of saving the world. She couldn't though. Instead she could only tell him things were alright and everything had gone okay and let her body language ask for all the things she couldn't say.

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"Stupid and cocky, huh?" Then it dawned on him that he should actually look at her. He pulled back, a hand to either side of her face and instantly his brow furrowed, thumbs smoothing over her cheekbones. "But you like this right? You like the fight? Cause I mean it's what you do..." It was more to reassure himself than anything.

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"Why do you say you're fucked up anyway?" Danny asked. "You're not fucked up... Pretty damn far from fucked up, way I see it."

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Buffy shrugged at Danny's comment. "I don't think most girls get off on sparring with their boyfriend."

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"You'd be surprised. Met a few... not personally, but on the job. The kind where things get out of hand, you know?" Danny shrugged. "I got a weird job."

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

"You do have a weird job," Buffy nodded. "But I promise I wouldn't let it ever get out of hand. I've got a lot of control." Her brow furrowed. "Are you worried that...I'd hurt you? You can trust me but we don't have to...I mean I'm so fine with the way things are now. It was just a...you know a way that you could take out that side of your personality and vent and I get the need to do that...so much but if you're afraid I'll hurt you or let it get out of hand it's okay."

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

Danny ducked his head, thinking about it for a moment. "I just never hit anyone for the Hell of it before. I'm more of a... inanimate object hitter unless I'm pushed and I gotta fight back. It's uh... it's real easy for me to let things go too far... to cross over lines that should never be crossed over." He swallowed hard. "So I'm just not sure. I kinda like havin' you around."

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Buffy said quietly. She cupped Danny's face in her hands and tilted his face up so he met her eyes. "I'm not pushing. We don't have to do this but if you want to, stay away from shooting me, trying to drown me or strangling me and I'm good. Fighting is what I do. Besides, I trust you. You might be angry going into the spar but you wouldn't ever hurt me. Not like that. And nothing you do in that realm of things is ever going to make me walk out that door. I'm not like other girls, Danny and I never will be."

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

Danny shrugged lightly and kissed the top of her head again. "Damsel all you want. I got you. I got you even when you don't damsel."

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

"You really do," Buffy said quietly. "Just as long as you take me both ways." She'd stopped picking at her hands and was fiddling with the hem of his tee shirt.

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't be so in like with you if I wasn't in like with all of you, right?" He reasoned. "I take you all ways."

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Buffy looked up at Danny for a second, watching him. She tucked a strand of hair that had freed itself from her braids behind her ear as she watched him, probably a moment too long. The urge to tell him tickled just underneath her skin again and she rubbed a fingertip across one of her knuckles like she could wear the place smooth. She nodded and looked back down to her hands.

"That's the myth. To really love someone you have to love all of them...not just the good pieces," she answered, her voice quiet. "Like...love...whatever."

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes myths can be fun to explore, yeah?" Danny asked, worried about her calling what he had just said a myth.

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Buffy nodded at his comment without any hesitation. She wished her hair was down so it'd give her something to fiddle with so she reached up and started undoing the pigtails, almost frantically, her fingers working at them. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to stop acting near hysterical.

"It's just-I mean-Yes. What happens if it's not enough? If like doesn't go that far or if it can't deal with some things? I sound crazy and I know I sound crazy. I even feel a little crazy because you're here and you're perfect and I just keep picking and pushing and trying to see all the what ifs. I'm sorry. I'll be better tomorrow. Promise. Don't kick me to the curb yet."

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"You can only do the best you can, baby. Someday she'll see that at least she had someone there, you know? Comes with age." Danny answered.

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

"Hmm for a little while I wasn't there though. Mom and the way Dawn was behaving and everything just piled up and up and up and I had to go for a few months. She was with Willow, Tara, Xander and Spike and I knew they would take care of her," Buffy responded. "And when I did come back...I didn't want to be there and she knew it."

It was sorta like confessional with the vague.

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

Danny nodded slightly, thinking Buffy had left. It was the obvious deduction. "We all handle things differently, you know? It's okay. I bet your sister knows you love her."

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

"Oh I think she does," Buffy nodded. "She just doesn't like how I love her. 'You're not Mom!' is often yelled at me when we fight," she made a face and shrugged. "I'm just trying to do what I think Mom would want."

[stillacrime.livejournal.com]

"See? Tryin' to do your best. S'all anyone can ask." Danny said, a corner of his lips lifting just slightly.

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Buffy looked up at Danny and smirked a little. "Oh people can ask for a lot more but best is all they're gonna get." She took a deep breath and tilted her head at him. "So what did you do while I was gone? Besides miss me like crazy and see your Mom and Dad. You look tired. Did you sleep at all?"