Buffy bit her bottom lip and pulled it through her teeth. "Some of it...I can't tell you. Not right now but other parts of it...just...some of it is just who I am. The fighting and how much I love it. Some of it...my Mom died and I was completely unprepared for it. They told us they got all of the tumor out and she was in remission. Then I walked in and she was dead on the couch. I called 911 and I gave her CPR and I broke her ribs and I had to tell Dawn and it was just me and Dawn. I was losing Dawn and she wasn't making things any easier. She was shoplifting and skipping school and...then...it was alright. It was better than alright. Everything was perfect. I was finished and safe and...then...I got put right back in Hell."

She furrowed her brow and stared down at her hands. She'd started picking at her hands. "That's when the claustrophobia started and the dangerous relationship and...for about a year I was...so lost." She paused, chewing on her bottom lip until she tasted blood. "Sometimes I'm still that lost. Sometimes I'm still in Hell and I feel like I'm fighting to get out and sometimes I miss being finished so much it hurts."