whattingawhat | 23rd Slay [Accidental Voice] Caught in a Bad Romance

---not fair. I mean seriously does everyone know about my relationship history? Is there some form that I forgot that I filled out. And those were two very specific, separete situations...vampires. Whatever. They had souls. Have souls. It's not like I--And there were people--okay person between--actually if you count Owen--who was post slayer--there were like at least 3 people who weren't vampires and I swear I did not date The Immortal. That was a rumor and also my decoy that was dating him. Give me a little credit. It's not like Spike went by William the Bloody when I was--or even--okay so Angel did go by Angelus for a little while but that was because he was--

[Deep breath]

Evil and you can't really say we were dating during the evil portion of The Life and Times at Sunnydale High. We were definitely broken up. You know that happens when your boyfriend kills your friends and your friends' fish.

[Some incoherent mumbling here by someone that is not Buffy]

What? No I do not have a supernatural fetish. I mean sure Satsu is a slayer and Riley was...he was normal for at least...a couple of months. Parker! Parker was entirely normal...and jerktastic but normal and Owen. I mentioned the normalacy of Owen right? And Pike back in LA. Also normal.

Not to mention Hello! Dating Eliot now and he's an entirely and totally normal boy.

[A very long pause]

Can't we talk about apocalypses or the times I saved the world or even my slay fashion faux passe.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Mortification and word vomit! Don't ask me anything!

Oh, are you still inactive?

I don't know if I wanna talk about it yet. I'm just sayin' I'm not as good as you think I am.

Still. Kind of a track record.

Yeah but there wouldn't be troops to rally even if I weren't.

I sort of never applied a good or bad label to you. You're just not evil as far as I can tell. It's a good thing.

[Glare]

Do we really want to talk about records here?

Oooooo-kay. Lips sealed. Might get Eliot to help me with that sealing lips thing.

...sorry.

Uh...it's. It's faux pas. Passe is...totally different. [It's easier to just be a know-it-all than to acknowledge...all of that mess.]

There would be if you started something big. You're a leader, Buffy. Let's face it, people naturally fall in line when you set your mind on something.

I'm not evil. [Yes he agrees.] Just do what's gotta be done to get the job done.

Hello. Slayer here committing aforementioned passe's. Pretty sure it's passe. Besides, you're not English or a billion years old.

[Clearly only Giles or someone well over the century mark can correct her English]

I tried that Dawn. People got killed.

[Oh good. Evil would introduce problems in their relationship] You and I aren't that different in that regard. I just draw lines because of what I am. I don't kill humans. There are police, vigilantes and other human devices for that.

That always happens. You've even said it before. People die and you have to make the hard decisions cause no one else will. But right now you're just -- not making any decisions. It's hard to follow someone who is decisionless.

I mean that's your choice. And I've decided to respect it because I love you. But that's why you don't have an army. That's why you don't have any followers. Because the people who follow you are busy doing you used to do.

Other human devices? Lines are just... things that make us feel bad when we're doing what's gotta be done. I'm not a line kind of guy, I guess.

And what am I gonna do with an army in here, Dawn? I'm not decisionless. I just made the decision that no one wants me to make.

You know. People who carry out justice. Or whatever.

[She shakes her head at this. It's one major difference between her and Eliot]

No. I've seen what happens when a slayer crosses the line. I can't and won't let myself become that.

Fight the deities? Clean up the underground? There's things to do here, Buffy -- things that can make this a better place. And it isn't that no one wants you to make it, it's that it doesn't happen very often -- you taking the easy road instead of the hard one, so it surprises everyone when you do. It sends mixed messages. Cause you preach preach and preach some more and then on those rare occasions you do this. Which you're totally entitled to. It's just... not you. And we'll all still be around when you're you again. I promise... although I can't promise that there won't be snark and chiding.

Dawn, this isn't the easy road. In fact this road, is harder than the other one. I'm alone, everyone reminds me that I'm not worth anything unless I'm being 'General' Buffy and I'm ignoring centuries of instinct.

So not the easy road. But it's the road that isn't getting humans killed. By me.

I-- what?

[Give him a moment.]

Oh. I get it. You're discriminating. This is cause I'm a nerd, ain't it? Just cause I like video games, I can't know some words? That's cold, Buffy.

[Have a blank look]

What are you even--seriously?

I did have a group of nerds who decided they were my arch nemisises one year.

Me? Me!? You're the one butchering English, here.

I am so not trying to be anyone's nemesis. Least of all yours.

[Chuckle.]

Just saying...

Technically you butcher it too. [She sounds very certain about this and very superior. He is not English okay? And only English people can not butcher the language]

Good. Most of the nerds didn't do so well.

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23rd Slay [Accidental Voice] Caught in a Bad Romance

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