Damsel in Distress, My Ass

[picks up somewhere in the middle of thisThe device clicks on as it hits the floor just in time to catch sight of Buffy shoving Faith up against the stair railing hard enough to crack wood and rain plaster dust from the ceiling down. There's another shutter and cracking of wood as Buffy slams her body into Faith's, mouths colliding. It's a very violent, through kiss with a good deal of biting and hair pulling. The kiss breaks when the wooden railing finally shatters, sending both slayers tumbling to the floor a few feet below. Buffy lays there stunned for a moment before she rolls to her feet.]

I hate this place. [And she's fleeing the warehouse, snagging a stake on the way out going to kill things and work off built up frustration. Or so she thinks.]

[ooc: Come kiss Buffy! Killing things are for girls that aren't cursed.]

[Buffy flips on the video and steps away from it so that the City can see her new outfit. It's not so bad. It could be worse but all together it's a bit...well much.]

You know, I woke up this morning and decided: shopping spree. A girl needs pretty clothes to work in and date in and slay in. [She twirls a bit here.]

Dawnie, sister sponsored shopping trip if you want to come along. [Of course she'll be bossy and try to wrest you into the latest couture Dawn.]

[There's an action sequence of Buffy fighting a small knot of zombies. She's kicking, punching and in one instance, staking a zombie in the ear. She pulls the stake out with a disgusted face. There's zombie blood and goo and brains on it.]

Turns out, killing zombies, not that different from killing vampires. Stay away from the teeth and shove a stake through a vital organ. [She bends to wipe her stake on the ground.] More with the ewww and less with the dusting.

I miss the dusting. [She sighs and then goes to meet another zombie head on so she can repeat the process over again.]

[ooc: Open to action, video or voice responses]

[There's a very cranky slayer trying to pick off the tiny mic planted on the strap of her tank. She looks ready to smash it into pieces, if she can just get it off]

Are the citizens of the City safer with you around?

I don't know. I try to make them safer. [Clearly she's not comfortable with this line of questioning]

And yet people are being injured by carousel animals and the Underground is shifting. Most people would say things in the City have gotten worse.

[She shoots the camera a glare but underneath that is something hurt and guilty. This line of thought isn't foreign to Buffy. She feels responsible, like she should be able to make things safer here.]

Excuse me? Did I miss a memo where this place made me a deity? Because that'd be sort of cool. [She's trying to cover up any evidence of guilt that she feels with snark.]

So you're saying you think you could do a better job?

[Buffy drops her face into her hands. Her words are muffled.]

Can't we talk about my lack of love life now?

[Buffy is sitting at the coffee shop where she's met Giles the last two times there's been a day or two like this. She's got tea instead of coffee today and Dawn's notes on the Yeti. She thinks they'd be interesting to him. She's tense, on edge and definitely waiting for him to show up]

Has anyone seen a guy walking around and rubbing his glasses a lot? Or a redhead--pretty, shy and friendly. Or maybe a guy that looks like Billy Idol? Or a broody forehead guy? Or...anyone claiming to be from Sunnydale really.

---not fair. I mean seriously does everyone know about my relationship history? Is there some form that I forgot that I filled out. And those were two very specific, separete situations...vampires. Whatever. They had souls. Have souls. It's not like I--And there were people--okay person between--actually if you count Owen--who was post slayer--there were like at least 3 people who weren't vampires and I swear I did not date The Immortal. That was a rumor and also my decoy that was dating him. Give me a little credit. It's not like Spike went by William the Bloody when I was--or even--okay so Angel did go by Angelus for a little while but that was because he was--

[Deep breath]

Evil and you can't really say we were dating during the evil portion of The Life and Times at Sunnydale High. We were definitely broken up. You know that happens when your boyfriend kills your friends and your friends' fish.

[Some incoherent mumbling here by someone that is not Buffy]

What? No I do not have a supernatural fetish. I mean sure Satsu is a slayer and Riley was...he was normal for at least...a couple of months. Parker! Parker was entirely normal...and jerktastic but normal and Owen. I mentioned the normalacy of Owen right? And Pike back in LA. Also normal.

Not to mention Hello! Dating Eliot now and he's an entirely and totally normal boy.

[A very long pause]

Can't we talk about apocalypses or the times I saved the world or even my slay fashion faux passe.

Saved the world [Nice]
Cratered Sunnydale [Naughty]
Killed my best friend when she went evil [Naughty]
Let Andrew live [Nice]
Ate the entire pint of Chubby Hubby in the freezer [Naughty]
Recorded ice skating over Spike's dvr'd Passions [Naughty]

Okay so Naughty won out but my two nice things were really, really nice. I think it balances out.