16th Slay [Text] Until you've lived a thousand times

[whattingawhat]

Slaying for Dummies

1. Wear a cross
2. Carry a bottle of holy water
3. Do not, I repeat do not carry a stake. Shoving a sharp piece of wood through someone's rib cage and piercing the heart is a lot harder than it looks.
4. Don't go out in dark alleys or graveyards alone.
5. If their fashion sense is a decade or more behind chances are, it's a vampire. Don't go home with them.
6. Put me on speed dial.
7. No really, put me on speed dial.
8. When in doubt, call me.

Edited Afterwards to include:

9. See this vampire? He's Spike. Don't stake him.

Comments

[Voice]

[a-bad-guy.livejournal.com]

Well if he can do it, I can do it.

Re: [Voice]

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Against most vampires, one on one, you'll probably be fine. I'll take you patrolling some night.

[Voice]

[a-bad-guy.livejournal.com]

Sounds good. Would be a blow to my ego if you didn't think I'd cut it.

Re: [Voice]

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

No, you're good in a fight. Fighting a vamp isn't that different from fighting a human except they don't usually carry weapons and they're stronger, faster, more durable than a human. They feel pain but it doesn't stop them.

Next time we spar I'll do more of the going all out and you can try to break me.

[Voice]

[a-bad-guy.livejournal.com]

I've fought with you. You're hard to break.

Re: [Voice]

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Because vampires think it's their duty to break me.

Anyway, depending on the vampire they're stronger, faster and more unbreakable than I am. So...practice is good.

[A pause here]

And I briefly went insane and entertained the idea of having you and Spike spar. Sanity is back.

[Pause]

Mostly. Unless there will be shirtlessness, oil and me with popcorn.

No. Sanity defintely back. You have to settle with sparring me. There could still be shirtlessness and oil.

[Voice]

[a-bad-guy.livejournal.com]

That wouldn't go well, the me and Spike thing. Glad you're sane, Rocky.

Re: [Voice]

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

I sorta didn't think it would. I'd rather both of you survive.

I'll give you a blunted stake and you can try to stake me.

Re: [Voice]

[a-bad-guy.livejournal.com]

You like this kind of thing, huh?

Re: [Voice]

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

Sparring? Teaching? Slaying?

Yes to the first 2 and most of the time yes to the last one. Sometimes I don't like what it does to me and my life but it's part of me and part of that is liking it.