But I fear [I have nothing to give]

13 moments of fear

-When I found Mom’s body on the couch. It was this completely childlike fear that I was really alone now and no one was ever going to love me unconditionally the way she did. I still feel like that when I miss her. Mother’s Day is beyond horrible to get through.
[locked from Danny]
-When I realized Giles had gone after Angelus. I knew what Angelus would do to him.
- When I looked up and saw Dawn standing on that tower. I think my blood ran cold right there and all the things Dawn was supposed to have all the things I never will flashed in front of my face. Fear paralyzed me for a moment before instinct kicked in.
-When Willow went all dark and veiny. I knew I ‘d get her back eventually because I wouldn’t have accepted anything else but I also knew she was going to have to live with the things she’d done.
-When Angelus had Willow. I was pretty sure he’d trade her for me but at that point, it was just a pretty sure. I still didn’t really know who or what Angelus was. Now, I think I know him better. There are so many things I’d handle differently.
-My first time slaying a vamp. Terrified.
-When I realized all my power was gone and there were still monsters out there. I wanted to go hide under my bed for the rest of my life. I got over it, sucked it up and killed the bastard that had Mom but for a little while I was so scared I didn’t want to move and I wouldn’t even let myself go to Angel because what if he didn’t love the helpless little girl the way he loved Supergirl?
[And locked from everyone, Bee included]
-When Spike tried to rape me. For a minute I was helpless, just a girl and I was scared. Then I remember what I was and no one was going to do that to me.
[unlocked except from Danny. My locking skills are uber obviously and also kind of lame]
- The night I found out there was a big book that was never wrong that said I was going to die. I was sixteen and so not ready to die. I got there and prophecies ceased to be a big deal but that one…I was scared. But hey you know prophecies don’t tell you the whole story and they don’t account for friends.
-When I crawled out of my grave. I thought I’d done something horrible and God had kicked me out of Heaven into Hell for it. I was kind of insane with fear but I figure I was justified. I’d busted through a coffin and dug my way out of six feet of dirt when moments before I’d been with Mom in Heaven.
[unlocked for everyone. God I’m so lame.]
-Dawn, when Mom died. I’d gotten her for twenty years. Dawnie just had her for fourteen and now she just had me.
-When the social worker said they were going to take Dawn away from me. I didn’t want Dawn put into the foster care system and selfishly I didn’t want them to take her away from me. I also knew that my house was never going to fit their standards but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t the best place for Dawn.
-When Giles left and went back to England. I understand now all the reasons he was doing it. At the time it felt like I was losing Mom all over again.

And quite...God I just pulled a Giles with the quite. I'm a little scared and I think I need to call him and tell him I miss him irritate him. Anyway...I'm kinda in love with Sarah McLachlan...I'm such a girl.