Damsel in Distress, My Ass

[13 Things You Live By]

1. Kicking ass is comfort food. Yeah, it’s a slayer thing but it’s also about me rebelling against everything life throws at me to try and break me. You can’t break me. You can only make me stronger and kicking ass is like ice cream, bubble baths and figure skating movies all rolled into one. Not that those things won’t be abused liberally once the ass kicking is done.

2. Hell hath no fury like Buffy when someone she loves has been hurt. As many dead things can attest you hurt my boyfriend/sister/friend/Giles, I will hurt you in return.

3. Violence doesn’t solve everything but it solves a lot. John Lennon never had a face full of angry monster that wanted to eat him. He might not have been so yay! Peace if he had.

4. Quitting isn’t ever an option and finished is a fairytale. Sorry Walt, fairytales don’t always come true.

5. “Some men pray for miracles. Heroes fight for them.” I don’t know who said it but I think the key here is, heroes fight.

6. “It’s better to burn out than to fade away” I know it was in a Neil Young song but Kobain made it famous when he wrote it in his suicide letter (Quitter)

7. “Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together.” Guilty. It was me. Apparently I’m an arrogant little quoter-girl. Who knew? Anyway, still true. Even if some people are not-advice-takers.

8. Seize the day. Tomorrow you might be dead. Okay so I said it and maybe it’s arrogant to take your own advice but I still try to live by it and believe it.

9. The hardest thing in this world is to live. Be brave. Live. Uhm…more with the me saying it. But it was to Dawnie, pre swan dive and I stand by it. Living is so much harder than anything else in the world. And sometimes people shut themselves up and they stop taking chances and they stop living because it’s too hard and they don’t have the bravery.

10. “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, an hour, a day or a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” Lance Armstrong. All I have to say is Amen.

11. “My dear girl, when are you going to understand that normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage” Aunt Frances in Practical Magic. She won my heart right there.

12. “I am not afraid. I was born for this’ Joan ‘Freakin’ of Arc. I kinda think she was a slayer and didn’t tell anyone. In any case, she was awesome and she’s kinda my hero.

13. “Nothing in this world is the way it ought to be- It’s harsh and it’s cruel – but that’s why there’s us. Champions. It doesn’t matter where we come from, what we’ve done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world is what it should be, to show it what it can be” Angel. Yeah…I mean…yeah.

13 things you must have to keep you happy.

1. Dawn safe and happy.

2. Danny

3. Giles stodgy, safe and British ensconced in his library.

4. Willow happy, healthy and good witchy.

5. Xander see above except with the witchy, since he’s not.

6. Chocolate (now see we’re getting to the petty)

7. Shoes

8. Food in the fridge

9. Roof over my head.

10. Mochas!

11. Vampires to hunt. I am what I am and that’s a necessary evil for a girl like me.

12. Rocky

13. Angel, relatively okay. Somewhere in the world.

13 things you know about the person closest to you.

Danny’s the only person in the whole state I really know

1. His favorite color is that olive-y green color

2. Favorite food is anything his Mom cooks.

3. Favorite baseball team is The Yankees.

4. He’s a fighter. Every day.

5. Favorite move is Die hard

6. Favorite person is Louie, followed by me!

7. He loves his family but knows that doesn’t mean he has to be them.

8. When he’s stressed out he smokes.

9. He loves his job.

10. His best friends are Anna and Don

11. He’s the guy that ends up chasing the bad guys most of the time and he might not say it but he likes the chase.

12. He likes kids and ewww not in a creepy way.

13. He tries so hard in absolutely everything he does.

13 moments of fear

-When I found Mom’s body on the couch. It was this completely childlike fear that I was really alone now and no one was ever going to love me unconditionally the way she did. I still feel like that when I miss her. Mother’s Day is beyond horrible to get through.
[locked from Danny]
-When I realized Giles had gone after Angelus. I knew what Angelus would do to him.
- When I looked up and saw Dawn standing on that tower. I think my blood ran cold right there and all the things Dawn was supposed to have all the things I never will flashed in front of my face. Fear paralyzed me for a moment before instinct kicked in.
-When Willow went all dark and veiny. I knew I ‘d get her back eventually because I wouldn’t have accepted anything else but I also knew she was going to have to live with the things she’d done.
-When Angelus had Willow. I was pretty sure he’d trade her for me but at that point, it was just a pretty sure. I still didn’t really know who or what Angelus was. Now, I think I know him better. There are so many things I’d handle differently.
-My first time slaying a vamp. Terrified.
-When I realized all my power was gone and there were still monsters out there. I wanted to go hide under my bed for the rest of my life. I got over it, sucked it up and killed the bastard that had Mom but for a little while I was so scared I didn’t want to move and I wouldn’t even let myself go to Angel because what if he didn’t love the helpless little girl the way he loved Supergirl?
[And locked from everyone, Bee included]
-When Spike tried to rape me. For a minute I was helpless, just a girl and I was scared. Then I remember what I was and no one was going to do that to me.
[unlocked except from Danny. My locking skills are uber obviously and also kind of lame]
- The night I found out there was a big book that was never wrong that said I was going to die. I was sixteen and so not ready to die. I got there and prophecies ceased to be a big deal but that one…I was scared. But hey you know prophecies don’t tell you the whole story and they don’t account for friends.
-When I crawled out of my grave. I thought I’d done something horrible and God had kicked me out of Heaven into Hell for it. I was kind of insane with fear but I figure I was justified. I’d busted through a coffin and dug my way out of six feet of dirt when moments before I’d been with Mom in Heaven.
[unlocked for everyone. God I’m so lame.]
-Dawn, when Mom died. I’d gotten her for twenty years. Dawnie just had her for fourteen and now she just had me.
-When the social worker said they were going to take Dawn away from me. I didn’t want Dawn put into the foster care system and selfishly I didn’t want them to take her away from me. I also knew that my house was never going to fit their standards but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t the best place for Dawn.
-When Giles left and went back to England. I understand now all the reasons he was doing it. At the time it felt like I was losing Mom all over again.

And quite...God I just pulled a Giles with the quite. I'm a little scared and I think I need to call him and tell him I miss him irritate him. Anyway...I'm kinda in love with Sarah McLachlan...I'm such a girl.

13 things you hope your SO never says

1. So Buffy, Sweetheart, think you could dial back the super girl thing? I’m feeling a little insecure.

2. I was thinking maybe you could stop buying shoes. Especially those super high heeled ones.

3. The punching bag, really not doing anything for the apartment. I thought we could take it down and put a big screen TV on that wall.

4. Ice Castles? Again?

5. I thought we’d go on a dairy free diet. (What? I like my dairy. Ice cream, milk, cheese…all good things)

6. You know that neck fetish of yours…I could do without it.

7. The blonde doesn’t really do anything for me. Could you go brunette?

8. Could you be a little less possessive/jealous?

9. I want you to walk in the sunlight. So I’m leaving you.

10. You should have a normal life.

11. Angel and Spike, your ex’s…yeah I’m going to need you to never speak to them again.

12. The rambling thing has got to go. I only understand every third word you say.

13. So I signed you up for cooking classes. I was thinking you could start tomorrow.

13 people who need to be slapped

1. Spike. He’s done something I’m sure. Besides, Bee slaps him on a regular basis and I trust her.


2. Jack in Portland who bought my yellow Jimmy Choos


3. Andrew. It’s Andrew…that needs no explanation.


4. Angel…if I start listing reasons we’d be here all day but I can promise you it’s for none of the reasons any of you think.


5. Kennedy. She totally tried to pull Alpha Bitch on me and that doesn’t really work.


6. Quinton Travers. Cruciamentum. That’s the only reason I’m ever gonna need for slapping him.


7. Tom from the frat house. He roofied me.



8. Parker Abrams. For being a complete ass.



9. Hank Summers. I don’t even need words for this one. I can use letters. M.I.A. He didn’t show up at Mom’s funeral Or mine


10. Shamans in general.


12. Olivia because she left Giles. And even if he is old and the idea of him having sex is gross, he liked her and she was the first that I know of since Ms. Calender.



13. Genevieve Savidge. You try to kill me and I am going to slap you.

1. I hate the rain.
2. I have a younger sister named Dawn.
3. I might have some control issues.
4. Shoes are proof the Powers that Be love us. Or at least they want to pacify us so we don't rebel and try to take over.
5. I do Tai Chi every day.
6. Blonde is not my natural color but I like it best.
7. Yes as a matter of fact I used to be a cheerleader.
8. I ramble. A lot.
9. I also tend to give speeches.
10. I used to live in Scotland. I live in New York City now.
11. I love to ice skate.
12. My Mom is dead and my Dad is MIA but I have a Giles so it's okay.
13. I absolutely do not settle everything with violence *glares at Xander*


In other news, this day sucks out loud.