Damsel in Distress, My Ass

[People I would take a bullet for:]

-Dawn
-Danny
-Giles
-Xander
-Will
-Oz
-Cady
-Gabe
-Danny's parents
-Christian Louboutin
-Jimmy Choo

And replace bullets with stakes since bullets won't kill them:
-Angel
-Spike

But please people, let's be for not getting shot at. Bullets hurt.

This is pretty much everything I could want in a house:

-Danny
-Training room-and I'm talking full blown with mats and targets and punching bags and training dummies and meditation corners.
-Weapons closet that had little racks for everything.
-The closet that Big buys Carrie in the movie.
-Starbucks (it's a dream house! And someone has one. I can't remember who)

Things I watch

-Danny
-Dawn
-Cheesy movies from the 70’s and 80’s
-Infomercials
-Kung Fu movies
-My boys in class
-One Tree Hill (it’s televised crack)
-Ice skating

[Things I can Justify]

-Extra patrols
-Later nights
-More ice cream
-A new pair of shoes
-Staying on my side of the couch

A List of Things I Need to Do Now
- Decide if I’m going to London.
- Call Angel and see if I can use his plane if I do decide to go to London.
- If I can’t I know he’ll let me I need to dive into the nightmare of getting a ticket ASAP.
- I need to call Giles and see if it’s viable for me just to stay here in NYC and help him handle things.
- I need to get half of the girls contact information and start calling parents.
- On that front, I need to figure out what I’m going to say to them.
- I need to plan a memorial service.
- I need to see about having a memorial put up. Somewhere.
- I need to list the land and the ruins with a realtor. Slayer Central can’t be rebuilt in the same place. That’d be stupid.
- I need to talk to Giles and see if we could feasibly rebuild here in NYC. Selfishly, I don’t want to spend that much time away from home and I think NYC is as good as anywhere. Surely there’s an abandoned something we can buy.
- I think Danny said something about a Monastery on Staten Island that was abandoned. I need to check into that.
- House mothers, I’m going to need them. So that should be its own list.
- Talk to Giles. Do we need Slayer Central? Scratch that. Stupid question. There are still hundreds of girls out there. Will just has to find them.
- Pedicure because I’m staring at my toes right now and they need to be done.
- If we’re going to put Slayer Central here…talk to job about going part time or Giles about paying me. Possibly better than I get paid now.
- London, get rain coat out of storage. If I’m going that is. Ditto for rain boots. God I hate the rain.
- Sympathy cards…see about ordering in bulk from the card place. Where ever that is.
- Call Angel. I know he’s heard but…call him anyway.
- Categorize this list so I don’t look at it and want to pull my hair out.
- Get luggage out of storage. If I’m going.
-Make a damn decision already.

Make a list of foods you always ruin when you try to cook them.

Making a list of things I don't ruin would be shorter:

-Take out (ordering not the warming up of because I don't)
-Cold cereal
-Ice Cream
-PB&J (okay most cold sandwiches but this is the one I make the most)

The truth is, I don't cook. I can't sorta of cook. I can't cook anything except... (which means you can cook. You just don't know how to make anything except ...)I wasn't allowed to run the grill at the Double Meat Palace. I got pulled off fries because of a small (ish) fire. Microwaves explode in my presence. Cold Chinese and pizza are actually really good. If I need to heat anything up, I have boys for that. Danny works a microwave really well and the boys in my classes all know how to use one. I know this because I've strong armed them into heating things up for me before.

Reasons I’m in like with Danny Messer

1. Have you seen him? Seriously. Let’s just get that out of the way right now and I’ll admit it’s shallow.
2. Porn. I’m getting the shallow ones out of the way right now and in bullet form. Just add the word porn after all of these. I can provide pictorial evidence if necessary.
• Glasses
• Tattoo
• Arm
• Wife beater
• Gun
• Cigarette (I kinda want to be a cigarette sometimes)
3. His hair. It’s fun to play with. It hasn’t got too much gunk in it so I can make it stick up or smooth it all down. Usually I like it all mussed up.
4. When he’s wearing his glasses, he lets me come take them off, put them on me (I have no idea why I like to wear them but I do) and mess up his hair.
5. Honestly, he pretty much lets me do whatever I want. God this makes me sound like a bratty girl but it’s true.
6. Boom. Really, just the way he talks period. The words he uses and the accent. I’m in love with the accent. Sometimes I just have him read things to me.
7. He fights. Every single day. I love that. There’s no way I could be with someone that wasn’t willing to fight every day. Or someone that just laid down and let life happen to them.
8. He’s so incredibly sweet and kind. Not just to me but to everyone.
9. He talks. We’re all pretty aware that I can hold a conversation with a wall but it’s nice to have someone who talks back to me.
10. He has no problem with sex everywhere.
11. He’s in good shape and runs a lot so he can keep up with me. And that’s all I’m saying about that.
12. He takes the stairs every day for me.
13. The one time we had to take the elevator, he distracted without any questions.
14. He takes me on faith.
15. He watches Ice Castles and “One Tree Hill” with me without complaining. Ditto for Kung Fu movies, which takes a special kind of resolve since I sit there and bitch about every. Single. Fight scene.
16. He has patience in spades.
17. He doesn’t care that I can kick his ass. In fact, he thinks it’s hot.
18. My favorite Marc Jacobs shoes are the centerpiece on the end table and he’s good with that.
19. I have over taken everything in his apartment and he’s actually happy about that.
20. He doesn’t give a damn that I can’t cook or that I’m not willing to try.
21. He made me Cookie-Dough-Fudge-Mint-Chip ice cream.
22. He’s on a campaign to redeem red roses.
23. He’s saving up money to buy me a cross I want, despite the fact that I have like twenty crosses already.
24. He took me to see Louie.
25. He actually likes my rambles.
26. He accepts it when I tell him I can’t tell him.
27. He let me hang my punching bag in the doorframe of the kitchen. I swore I’d take it down when I wasn’t using it but really, most of the time we just duck around it. He never, ever complains about it.
28. He likes the small of my back even better than the scar on my neck even though the scar is the most sensitive spot on my body. I like that he’s not picking the easy spot.
29. He never takes the easy way. It’s really sexy.
30. He’s got a motorcycle. I totally feel like Grease 2. Maybe motorcycle should be up on the porn column but I think there probably really is something called motorcycle porn and it’s probably not what I think it is. Although now I’m thinking about other ways to make the motorcycle porntastic that aren’t eww at all.
31. He doesn’t underestimate me. This is important because most people do.
32. He’s Catholic but he doesn’t care that half the time I call the same higher power he calls God PB&J half the time.
33. He’s thinking about introducing me to his parents.
34. He handles Emo!Buffy without flinching.
35. He’s so a sucker for my pouting.
36. He lets me play bad music (like Bon Jovi bad)
37. He lets me draw all over his body with purple glitter pen as long as I stick to areas of the skin covered by his clothes (work you know. He has to look respectable) and honestly I’m pretty sure if I really wanted to, he’d let me draw on his arms too.
38. He makes his mom’s lasagna for me.
39. He’s protective of me but he knows I can take care of myself so he’s not like all…he doesn’t care that I don’t damsel? If that makes any sense at all.
40. He’s incredibly indulgent of my coffee habit even though he knows he’s going to have to live with caffeinated Buffy.
41. Let’s just call it like it is, he’s incredibly indulgent of all my quirks. And there are lots and lots of them. That could be an entirely separate list.
42. Under all that good, he’s a bad boy looking for redemption. It’s just…such a turn on for me.
43. He’s not all American Joe. It works because I’m not all American Jane and I never, ever will be.

ETA He's a smart ass. Yes I like that.

Excuses I’ve used:

1. Mr. Flutie: You burned down the gym…
Me: I did, I really did but…You’re not seeing the big picture here, I mean, that gym was full of vampi-asbestos.

2. Um... uh, there was a, a cat. A cat here, and, um, then there
was a-another cat... and they fought. The cats. And... then they left.

3. Mr. Giles asked me to go get a book for him.

4. He/She/It hurt my boyfriend.

5. She touched my umbrella.

6. Sacred duty…yadda yadda yadda

7. You have fruit punch mouth.

8. I’m going to give them a normal prom if I have to kill everyone on the face of this earth to do it.

9. Kicking ass is comfort food.

10. I've got a mountain of homework to do, and, um... my mom's not
really feeling well, and she could probably use my help, and, um, to be
truthful I'm not really feeling all that well myself.

11. That I'm, uh... in a band. A-a rock band with
Spike here.

ETABecause Faith pointed out that really nothing tops this one...

12. Sorry, I was busy being DEAD.

for makeyourlist Week 17 prompts

A list of things I bring on vacation:

-cell phone in case girl central implodes without me

-at least two outfits for every day because I am going to change my mind.

-work out clothes

[locked from Danny]

-slay friendly clothes

-slayer scythe and let me tell you what a pain in the ass it is to get this past security. No way I’m going anywhere without it. One of the girls would commandeer it and then I’d have to kick their ass.

-stakes

-machete thing. Mostly for carving more stakes but you should never underestimate when you might need a small sword.

-grinding stone to sharpen everything.

[unlocked]

-trashy romance novels because I know I’m going to spend a lot of time waiting with nothing to do.

-IPod. Just because I don’t have it permanently attached to my head does not mean I don’t want it for long flights. Besides it’ll help deter that grandma that wants to talk about her grandkids that live in the states and that she’s never seen. Or at least block her out.

-laptop. Solitaire FTW. Also I might one day get around to writing that handbook Giles keeps insisting we need.

-bottled water. Okay so I can’t bring this and WTF seriously? Do I look like a bomb making crazy?
Don't answer that. With my luck I'm in the international terrorist database. [locked]this is so not funny because I'm serious[/unlocked]

-snacks because peanuts get old after a few hours on a plane.

-Travelers checks.

-the bag Willow got me that I can put across my body. Now though I kinda want someone to try to mug me. How can I go to New York and not get mugged? It’s not a real New York experience otherwise. Also, it’s not like the mugger is gonna get away.

-cell phone charger and extra battery because I know I’m going to forget to charge it.

-digital camera. I’m under orders to take lots of pictures. I think this is a vicarious vacation for lots of the girls. A lot of them are American and they miss the States.