Daddy Issues? I've got a few

Daddy Issues

Yeah, I’ve got some. The thing is, he was a pretty good father up until my life went all pear shaped. He says he didn’t leave my Mom because of me but they were happy until my juvenile delinquent stage set in. {LFD} You know when the whole slayer thing came about. {ULFD} Mom would never confirm it but I think the vacation to the nut house was his idea. I mean maybe it’s just me blaming the person who didn’t stick around but I do know that he only tried once after that and when he found out I hadn’t changed and buying me a bunch of shoes couldn’t change it, he stopped trying. He missed my seventeenth birthday all together and that was one I really could have used him for. My eighteenth birthday I got flowers and two tickets to the ice capades with a card that said he couldn’t make it. That’s the last time I heard from him. And really, that’s when everything with men started going down hill. Giles…I don’t even want to talk about what he did to me. And then Angel left and Parker was a creep and Riley left and…nothing was ever right again. I guess it’s a lot to pile on one man but that’s why they call them daddy issues, right?

Knowledge is power or something like that

13 things you know about the person closest to you.

Danny’s the only person in the whole state I really know

1. His favorite color is that olive-y green color

2. Favorite food is anything his Mom cooks.

3. Favorite baseball team is The Yankees.

4. He’s a fighter. Every day.

5. Favorite move is Die hard

6. Favorite person is Louie, followed by me!

7. He loves his family but knows that doesn’t mean he has to be them.

8. When he’s stressed out he smokes.

9. He loves his job.

10. His best friends are Anna and Don

11. He’s the guy that ends up chasing the bad guys most of the time and he might not say it but he likes the chase.

12. He likes kids and ewww not in a creepy way.

13. He tries so hard in absolutely everything he does.

I've got my hands at redemption's side [Whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine]

{Wrath}

So, Danny and I were talking earlier. One of the things we have in common is wrath. We’re pretty much agreed that it’s the sin we commit the most. It’s also the one that’s that hardest to admit. I mean I have no problems saying that sometimes (ok probably second to wrath) I envy Carrie Bradshaw’s closet. And lust would be at the top of the list except that I don’t think it counts as lust when you love the person you’re all lusty about. Gluttony, I have my moments particularly if chocolate or milk are involved. I love my milk. I’m not really greedy or lazy (except on Sundays and then I just want to lie in bed for hours but God did say it’s a day of rest so I’m resting!). Sometimes I am pretty prideful and when I am I usually get knocked down a peg or two. I’ve learned enough to take my prideful moments in private and to make sure they don’t go to my head.

Wrath though…that’s the big one. That’s the one that I fall to almost every day. And the reason it’s the hardest to admit is because I want to be a ‘good’ person and ‘good’ people don’t lose their tempers. They don’t enjoy beating the crap out of something or someone. They don’t like the adrenaline rush that comes with it. [LFD] And good slayers don’t enjoy the job so much that it itches when they don’t indulge. They don’t run through the street yelling I’m the best, I’m the fastest and they don’t jump between buildings just because they can. They don’t pray for monsters and they don’t taunt the ones they get. Good slayers go out, get the job done and go home to eat some non fat yogurt and watch the late late show. [ULFD] If I admit that I enjoy all that then slipping across that line I’ve drawn is that much easier. I’ve seen what I become if I slip too far and I don’t want to be that person. Not ever.

I pray which probably surprises people and no I don’t really know who or what I’m praying to but I know there’s someone(s) up there listening. I try to walk that line and stay on the straight and narrow. It’s harder when my friends and family are hurt. I’ve slipped and I’ve clawed my way back. I’m stronger than I look but if I’ve ever had an adversary that came close to doing me in, it was Wrath.