Damsel in Distress, My Ass

[Unbeknownst to Buffy, Dawn did a spell, and because of this spell she is painfully happy. The video screen shows her with a smile that's stretched from ear to ear. Underneath the blinding brightness, she looks tired, exhausted from the sheer effort of being happy. When she speaks, her voice is annoyingly chipper, like it's stretched too thin, too tight.]

So I know everyone's been complaining about the last week or so but it hasn't been that bad! We all made new friends and had new experiences. I think it's really super of the deities to provide us with opportunities like that. It's not something you're going to get at home. No Sir-re Bob.

What's everybody's plans for Christmas? Chock full of egg nog-y goodness?

[Buffy is lying on the couch in her warehouse wrapped up in a blanket. She looks exhausted mostly because she is. She also looks pouty because...well she gets that way when she's had a bad couple of days and she's tired.]

Freaky statues seem to have gone back to whatever bizarro world they came from. Everyone present and accounted for?

I need some serious 80's movie time clockage.

Also, Charlie, are you okay?

[Buffy is standing near the carousel, scythe in hand. She's staring up at the giant egg thing that's now hovering over the carousal. She's got her head tilted to the side and she appears to be entirely puzzled. In her experience egg things don't go so well. They hatch monsters and aliens and creepy things that take over your brain. She does not think the City needs an attack of creepy things taking over all the brains.]

Does anyone else think we ought to kill the egg baby alien monster thing before it hatches or am I just being yay!violence girl?

[There's the sound of a splash, then some muttering as someone slogs their way out of the fountain. When the video finally shows something besides the water in the fountain, it's a very wet, unhappy Buffy Summers.]

Thanks City. I think you probably made me ruin my record.

[ooc: Buffy's back. I sort of forgot to do this until now. ANYWAY she's updated to the end of the S8 comics now.]

[Buffy is standing in front of a punching bag. She has her hands wrapped and she's wearing a wife beater with yoga pants. Her hair is pulled up in a ponytail. Dummies and a wall of weapons can be seen behind her.]

This last week has proven a couple of things to me. 1) Zombies are gross and 2) Self Defense is pretty necessary.

Give those two things, Derek Morgan and I have decided to hold some self defense classes. He'll be doing most of the hand to hand combat, I'll be handling weapons and we'll both do tai chi classes. I'm attaching a schedule for classes. They'll be held at the youth center weekly. All weapons and equipment will be provided.

I hope we'll see a lot of you there.

[Buffy is sitting at the coffee shop on the patio with an iced coffee. She's scanning the crowd, obviously looking for someone. She makes a face and looks to the device.]

Calling all Sunnydale residents.

Also, don't panic. This weekend is usually pretty tame. Just don't go into the Underground.

[The video flickers on to Buffy in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. She's got her hair pulled up and her hand rests on a punching bag that's still swaying slightly. She doesn't turn to the video when she speaks]

The thing about weaknesses...they keep changing. Or at least some of them get more priority than they used to. Once upon a time, my greatest weakness was Angel. I quit the council over him, still supporting that move by the way. I nearly died to save him--and I guess I'm still support-o girl of that move too. Then Dawnie came along and I realized comparatively, Angel was never a weakness. I told Giles I'd quit if Dawn died. I meant it and not for three months like I did when Angel died. I'd quit for good. Move to some tiny town, buy a tea cozy and put up a fence that wasn't picket.

Then I died and--I came back and...[She pushes the punching bag away, makes a tight circle and wraps her arms around her waist. She dips her head, closing in on herself. Her voice drops in volume and her shoulders curve a bit as if weighted down.]

It changed everything. I'd still die for Dawn. I'd still fight until my very last breath to make sure she gets everything in life she deserves but...[A very significant pause] Giles told me not that long ago that things had changed--I had changed--if it were the tower and Dawn and the world all over again...[Curse or not, she can't and won't finish that sentence]

I'm the Slayer, not the only one anymore but still the and that's my weakness. I can send them all out and watch them get knocked down or save the world. Either way, it's all on me. They're my responsibility. Willow made them but it was my idea. Every girl that dies, every girl that wins, every girl that hates what I've made her is my responsibility.

And sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in it.

[She shuts the video off abruptly.]